This is what I know
Death comes for us all, eventually.
We all know this. But it doesn't make it any easier to lose someone.
When I was 8, my father died in a car accident. He was killed by a drunk driver on New Year’s Eve. I dont remember much from that time other than writing “ I love you daddy” on the funeral home’s business card and putting it in the casket with him at the funeral.
Since then, death has been close to me on many occasions. A friend in 8th grade committed suicide. Summer of 9th grade, my brother in law died after surgery. Then in late 2017, my sister died in her sleep. Six months later, my brother died from cirrhosis of the liver. The next month, my mother died from dementia. Throw in my dog of 12 years needing to be put down unexpectedly and needless to say, that was a tough 6 months. Then in 2020, my mother in law died. Although she hadn’t been in good health for a few years, her death was unexpected and she hadnt made any estate plans.
Through that time, I felt mostly numb. Just going through the motions of handling arrangements. Except for my sister who was married, I had to handle everyone’s arrangements on my own. My grandfather purchased my mom’s plot, next to her twin brother who died at 12, so she was easy. I just had to get her to Kentucky and buy a casket. My brother, on the other hand, was a whole other experience. He was in the hospital for 3 months and without a living will, I was the only one to make decisions for him. It was torture. Would he want a feeding tube? Does he want experimental medicine? When do we call hospice? I was in a constant state of anxiety trying to do my best by him. When he died, I guessed he would want to be cremated and spread in the ocean, so thats what we did.
No one wants to talk about death. But I’m here to tell you it’s a very necessary conversation. You’ll want to get your affairs in order so that the burden isn’t left on your loved ones. They will already be in such a stressed and emotional state, they will not want to make decisions that they are unsure about. Do you want to be buried? Do you want to be cremated? Do you want to be in a mausoleum? These days, you can even have your ashes buried at sea! There are so many questions that need answers when you die. Having that laid out for your loved ones to refer to will be huge in helping them through that grief. Trust me on this.
My friend Jackie works in the funeral business. Each time I received the news, I immediately called her and she was a rockstar helping me get everything arranged. The flight to Kentucky for my mom, getting my brother's body to the crematorium. Making sure everything was handled immediately was a huge help. So at the end of last year when I started thinking about getting back into the workforce, I called Jackie. “Hey, are you guys hiring? I know a lot of dead people”. That was my joke but I was only half joking. “I think my experience would be great for this industry”. She told me to get licensed and then we would talk. So I did. Now I specialize in Private Estate Sales and Pre Planning, both funeral and cremation, for Riverside Memorial Park Cemetery and Aycock Funeral Home. I represent over 2,500 locations so even if you aren’t local, I can assist.
Benefits of having your affairs in order and your final resting place decided ahead of time isn’t just about alleviating the emotional toll in the moment for your loved ones, it’s also very smart financially. And we all know how inflation has been the last few years, so by getting your forever home set up, you lock in today's pricing. Why not secure the best pricing now so your family isn’t paying even more in the future? Pre-planning is the way to go, no doubt.
Do you know what your final wishes would be?
If you or any of your family members are interested in seeing what your options are and getting this uncomfortable but crucial item checked off your to do list, send me a message and I can show you.
Remember, tomorrow isn’t promised.
XO,
Lory